Audience of One

Eyes are opened. Breaking down of pride.

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 04:07:11 -0500

Today was my second time at The Vine church in Irvine.

Chris picked me up today at 11:30 and we went to his company to pick up the company car and I got to drive his friend’s car back to the church, whoop whoop! We also went to get Starbucks. I really enjoyed today’s message, even though I don’t remember all the details. It was about the Old Testament and Moses (law) and Elijah (prophets), and the New Testament and Jesus. And how God, even though He established laws and prophets to lead the way, everything has been nullified with Jesus. “This is my Son, with who I am well pleased; listen to him” (Matt 17:5). We must listen to Jesus—He is the way, the truth, and the life.

He also went over Genesis 3, the passage that I did QT on the night before. He had us close our eyes after reading the part of the fall of man (after eating the fruit), and as God was walking in the garden saying “Where are you?” he first read it in an angry voice, and then with the “Jesus goggles” voice—a voice filled with care and concern, especially because he knew the circumstances under which man was hiding from Him… that shook me a little inside. It’s amazing how God loves, even in our disobedience, He is not blinded by petty hate and bitterness, but instead, even then He still shows us care. An incomprehensible love that I desire to understand.

After service, we had lunch. A 집산님 prepared hamburger patties from scratch for the EM. man were they good! and after that, Chris took all 7 of us—me, Cat, Jessica, Daniel, David, Aldren, and Peter—out to Sake 2 me Sushi for all you can eat. but before that, in the church parking lot, Jessica gave me a present. I was so 감동받았어! i barely know her, barely met her two weeks ago! but she thought of me too.

During sushi, I had the opportunity to ask David Yoon why he decided to do Undignified. I was pleased (?) by his heart and his attitude. first was simply his love of praise. the more complicated part was his desire to see revival in Gethsemane. he said how his freshman year, Gethse was truly an awesome time of praise and prayer, and how over the years it’s faded. the number of people who come out have been declining, and people are complaining about how late it is. he wants to contribute in reviving it, not back to the way it was, but beyond that.

Afterwards, when Chris was dropping me off, I had the opportunity to ask him what the church vision was. The reply he gave me (idk whether it was the church vision or his), was that he wanted to see spiritual growth within the EM students, and that instead of being forced, that they would desire to share the gospel. The analogy he gave me was just like how when people see a really good movie, or eat at a really good restaurant, and how they recommend them to their friends and people, that NATURALLY, the gospel would be shared because of that simple desire to do so.

I went to 고모’s a little while after I got home, to see if David and Sam came back—they didn’t but Grace 언니 was there. I was talking to her for a while and she was giving testimony about the change in her life and how she was laying her life down to God, and about her tests (bachelor party to Vegas), and her change in attitude etc. She also shared with me what she overheard my dad sharing with 고모… how in this household he feels all alone. How me, Rachel, Joshua take my mom’s side. and the most heartbreaking part is since he doesn’t even turn to God, he truly is alone… that broke my heart. that made me want to lay down my pride, go home, embrace him and tell him that i love him.

Sarah came over and there was a pretty heated argument. I don’t want to sound judgmental when I say this but she’s lost. She says she believes in the Bible, she believes in Jesus and God, but she’s still super lost. She’s not grounded and her foundation is not solid. There’s no ifs-maybes when it comes to being saved or not. even though God is an understanding God, He has given us plenty of opportunities, and the greatest one of all is His son Jesus. Only through him can we be saved from Hell.

I came home around 11 after talking to Grace 언니 and 고모 after Sarah left. the first thing i did was to go up to 아빠 and ask him to stand up. he wouldn’t. i kept asking. he refused. i got on my knees and asked. he still refused. when he finally got up (really unwillingly), and when i tried to get near, he backed off and said “don’t get close,” and when i kept on getting closer, he walked off and ran away into the kids room. even though he pushed me away, i hugged him and told him i love him and that he’s not alone.. how stupid am i? my pride really is worthless. how could i have let things get this far without taking the proper actions into TRYING to fix this situation in my family? and with the simplest of solutions: showing the LOVE of Christ. changing my lifestyle. okay, not so simple, but the answer has always been there, it’s just that i’ve been reluctant.

the next thing i did was go into mom’s room and sit with her on the bed and talk to her. i asked her why she goes to church, if she believes in God, and if she believed that God could change 아빠. i shared with her what was going on through my head when I saw Impact’s performance the previous day, and what grace 언니 said, and what she and i needed to do, especially since we believe in God and go to church. I asked her to try to love 아빠, even though it’s hard to, and to ask God especially when it’s hard to give her that heart to love him. I asked her to take her frustrations out on me instead of the kids, because they don’t know what’s going on when she suddenly explodes at them. In order for movement to happen, and change to come about, someone needs to move first. I’m hoping she will. I too, want to change my life a total 180 with God. I believe that with prayer, petition, faith, and action, that You God, will restore my family and bring my dad back to Christ. help me to continually step down on my stubbornness and pride. and even though i’m not used to saying “I love you,” that I’ll be able to say it to my family every day. i want to surrender my daily lifestyle to you. all the little details. what i decide to wear, what i decide to eat, EVERYTHING. God, I want to hear your voice, I want to know what You want for my life. help me to cultivate this heart. don’t let me get lukewarm. I want my life to be pleasing to You!

Blessing after Blessing

Sun, 17 Jun 2012 05:33:00 -0400

This week has seriously been blessing after blessing each day. God definitely provides and He’s drastically filled in my funds in the past 5 days! Almost done baby.

Monday: Dinner with Christina and Alina at Ajisen’s. Hilarious and wonderful time :]
Dessert at Over the Balcony. Good sharing, “predicting”, etc. lots of fun :]
They sneaked a lot of support money into my wallet, which I had a hunch about, but officially found out at home. wowzers

Tuesday: Met up with Shelley, caught a movie. After she dropped me off she also gave me $50 in support money!
Went to HMart, ran into Jasper & John 아저시s. Gave my mission letter to 형 and Abe, met Mijin 언니 and got to know her. Gave her a copy of my mission letter after hearing some of her story. She asked me to come in the next day~

Wednesday: Went into HMart, Mijin 언니 gave me a letter and $50 in support money. Letter was really sweet and mom even cried while reading it to me. Mom lost her job, but with all that God has shown me, I no longer worry that He will provide. Hopefully I’ll keep up this mindset.

Thursday: Mom went to pick up her paycheck, and she came back with something for me too! Dr. Kim supported $200 for missions. Went market funding with Hosea GSN and HaRi at Zion. We were able to raise $114 in 2 hours :D

Friday: Went into HMart cause Anna said she had support money for me~ She gave me a letter with the support inside. The BuChumChang saw the envelope and asked what it was for. Told her I was going to missions. She asked why I didn’t give her a letter (I don’t really know her, that’s why…) but she gave me $100 in support money!
Dad also decided to give me a “last chance” so I guess it gives me an opportunity to fix things before I leave. God YOU ARE AMAZING.
Seriously PTL!

Back and Forth

Sun, 10 Apr 2011 02:52:22 -0400

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I hate when I feel like this. I feel agitated all the time and I feel like I’ll get angry at those who aren’t to blame for anything… If only the heart listened to words and reasoning, what an easy life that would be. Unfortunately it isn’t that simple T_T

This was me throughout Open Chapel. I was stressing out over the...

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 01:03:30 -0400

This was me throughout Open Chapel. I was stressing out over the offering song so much that I couldn’t really focus on the message. My heart was thumping and I started biting myself… I didn’t really calm down until the prayer time. I was constantly telling myself throughout the night, I have nothing to fear. My only audience is God. But I couldn’t help but think of the people that’d be looking!!! But when we started praying, I kinda just realized and told myself, “What is it that I have to fear? Jesus will be standing right next to us.” Then my heart calmed down and I was able to really get into the worship before the offering song. Then when Nat and I finally went on the stage, sure enough I was at peace. God Bless (:

When the sun breaks through the clouds on a dark and gloomy day,...

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 19:13:04 -0400

When the sun breaks through the clouds on a dark and gloomy day, I feel as if the Lord is smiling at me :]

Audio

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 03:33:20 -0400

Photo

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 02:48:50 -0400

Love Letter to Him part 1

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 02:24:36 -0400

God, you never cease to amaze me. You always manage to pull me up when I feel like I’m in the dumps. Whenever I feel like no one or nothing can ever make me feel better, you prove me wrong. Just by simply hearing songs dedicated to you, just by meeting up with the people I know you have sent to get my mood up and kicking, I feel joy.

These past couple of days you fill my head with so many thoughts of You that I don’t have time anymore to feel so moody or crummy. When I see Your people, I’m reminded of the love You share and show, so that we in return are able to love not only You but show the same love You give us, to others. It’s really hard for me to love others—I have a hard time even showing proper love and care to my own family, much less other people. When I get to know more of You, I become even more amazed by you. The compassion, love, mercy, forgiveness, security, joy, blessings, SO much that you provide and give us is overwhelming to me, especially when the recipients are us, who are so undeserving of all these gifts you provide.

I question myself sometimes. How can I possibly repay even 1 millionth of a fraction of all you give me? It’s hard to give what you already have. For the longest time I’ve been thinking it had to be something outrageously big and it had to be something that I could prove to the WORLD to show how much I love You. But, after reading the first couple of chapters from the Purpose Driven Live, I’ve realized that I’ve been trying to give to you for the wrong reasons. I’ve practically been trying to put up a show for others; whether giving offering, praising, or talking about You—it was more because I felt ashamed of what others might think if I didn’t do it in a showy way. I was even being stingy about giving offering!! But more and more these days, I’ve been setting a different mindset. Praising and worshiping because I love You. Simply that. Praising and worshiping you because it gives you pleasure. And when I think that my praising you gives you joy, from such a simple action, it in return brings me joy and pleasure and I put more of my heart into it because I know you are listening.

There were so many things I’ve been reluctant to do in the past, and there are still inhibitions holding me back now. I’ve always had somewhat of an introverted nature, but I shouldn’t let that hold me back, or use that as an excuse to spread the Word of God. I shouldn’t be selfishly holding all the joy God gives me to myself, I should be out there! Sharing with the people who have yet to know Him. Opening their eyes to the Love of God that always surrounds us, that is overflowing—just that so many are so blind to it. He’s always knocking at the our door, waiting for us to open it and let Him in. It breaks my heart to think of Him, our Glorious God, waiting… WAITING!! outside…
Our Majesty, He who is so great, so powerful, almighty! but because he is a gentleman, he knocks and waits. It is US who should be waiting upon our King, but we make him wait… TT_TT For me, honestly I hate to keep people waiting for me, especially outside, so I’m usually the first one out, waiting for them. It is with this attitude that I should approach God. I shouldn’t make him wait for me, wait for when I’m ready, wait for me who’s always putting it off. I should already be ready to go, waiting upon him so that he doesn’t even have to raise his hand against the door.

Mission Trip to Mexicali part 1

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 21:09:03 -0500

If there was anything to describe what it was, it was definitely an adventure.

Satan was working since Friday. He hindered a lot of people, from Jin’s stomach ache to Grace’s car breaking down at school. Justin decided to back out and there was just so much stuff going on…

Anyways we left around 6:20 AM on Saturday to Mexicali. I fell asleep for most of the ride on the way down but I woke up when we were in the mountain area to see snow falling and a white winter wonderland :]

We crossed the border without any problems, but seeing how conditions were in Mexico made me feel all the more grateful for how I’m living right now. The houses there were so tiny, made out of brick and didn’t look like it had any insulation. The houses literally looked like jail cells all put together and the brick walls were all graffitied and there were barbed wires on top of the walls. In some areas there were “homes” on an inclined hill next to ditches and their roofs were a big piece of tin plating. They looked like the homes I saw in history books during the Great Depression—Hoovervilles, but worse!

We finally reached the senior home and everyone was taking part in preparing the gifts and the food. While some were preparing the grill, the majority of us were praising and worshipping in front of the elderly with Sarah and Jesse to lead us. The people at the senior home were really cute. Especially that one old couple where the man kept cuddling next to his “girlfriend” and that one old lady with the big yellow blanket. After worship, Elias was talking about something (I only got bits and pieces) and he asked those who accepted Jesus Christ into their lives to raise their hands so we could pray for them. I prayed for the little old lady who was sitting next to the lady with the yellow blanket. The most memorable thing during the prayer time was Jin dancing with one old man. She was telling him how much Jesus loved him.

After worship, we all prepared the food. The hamburgers (lettuce, tomatoes, ketchup, onions, cheese etc.) and the hot dogs. The kitchen staff had prepared mashed potatoes and spaghetti. There was an old lady that wasn’t allowed to eat bread so the staff prepared just mashed potatoes and spaghetti. When both Sarah’s passed by the old lady, her head was down so they assumed that she fell asleep while eating, but after a while we noticed that there was a commotion going on. The lady wasn’t sleeping but choking… three people tried doing the heimliech maneuver to get the food out including Sarah and Efren, but the food wasn’t coming out. Most of us calmed down when we were told that she was breathing, and things went back to normal and the lady was taken to her room, but after a while, the staff were rushing out with her again. They were calling for an ambulance and put the lady in the car to take her to meet the ambulance. Sarah and Jesse went with the people, but (later) when they got back, we received the news that the old lady had passed away. We were told that she had an very small esophagus so she wasn’t allowed to eat bread, but that she must have taken her neighbor’s food. The people told us that this wasn’t the first time, that it had happened numerous times before. I guess the most shocking thing for me during this commotion wasn’t the passing away of the old lady, but how normally the rest of the elders were acting. I don’t know how someone noticed she was choking, but when her head was down, we didn’t assume the worst because of how normally the elderly around her were acting. They were acting as if nothing were wrong or out of the ordinary..
We had a moment to pray for the lady, but Jin told us that we shouldn’t feel sad for her passing away because we knew where she would end up. Luckily she was one of the people who raised their hands to accept Jesus Christ as their savior. She instead told us to pray for the people who were left behind—family, friends.

Circle of Friends

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 01:00:56 -0500

Colors we think of when we think of eternity (white, gold, silver, etc.)

What are we going to do in eternity (worship, govern, etc. busy ourselves)

What is eternity?
-Unable to fathom

This life is a preparation for eternity
-How does that make us view what we think is important right now?
-God has planted eternity in the human heart (Ecc 3:11)

Have you ever felt like having accomplished something great, something that should provide satisfaction but you felt incomplete or dissatisfied?
-The feeling of emptiness inside is why we’re always searching for something more
-It feels like there’s a void inside you that you need to fill, even temporarily
-If we as Christians feel this, what about nonbelievers? Why do you think there’s so many religions? They are searching for something because they are empty inside.
-God is the one who put this seed of longing, this heart, this desiring for something we don’t understand—a longing for God…
-Unless we have found God to be the center of our life, we’ll always have that little feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction.
-There will always be a longing, not because of us, but because God put it there
-When we see our lives in eternity, our values, aspirations, etc. change because no longer do these trivial activities/relationships/problems matter as much or seem as important as it seemed to be—start letting go.
-Life becomes much more focused as values start changing
-There’s far more to life than here and now
-There’s a lot of advertising for “Right Now”

If tomorrow were our last day on Earth, what would we do to prepare for eternity?
-Drag my dad to church, drag Thao to church
-There is power in prayer—pray for nonbelievers, pray for salvation
-When you think about eternity, there are only two places, Heaven & Hell
-When you think about eternity, eternity in Hell is … SCARY
-There is no middle ground, no gray area whether in eternity or being a believer

Life is preparation for eternity, how could this impact choices for spiritual growth?
-Keep your sabbath
-Prioritize
-Bible reading in food category, is like spiritual food—you may think you don’t need it but when your spirit goes hungry, it is difficult to revive
-My spirit is hungry, whether my soul feels it or not
-If you don’t fill spirit first and foremost, whatever you fill first becomes cluttered
-Bible reading and spiritual activities is like exercising your muscles—it will make your spirit stronger

What is spiritual growth and how do you grow it?
-2Corinthians 5:1-7
-Tent=body on Earth, House in Heaven=celestial body
-Our mortality is swallowed by life—our life begins AFTER this
-God has already given us the Spirit of God as a guarantee
-In Christ we are already chosen, we’re already there
-“while we are at home in the body we are away from God”
-Our challenge is to walk by faith and not by sight
-We need to reevaluate our priorities and our decisions
-Seek God in prayer and don’t be afraid or worried because God will reveal little by little with time

*This is not the real life, real life starts after this one—life is really short compared to the eternal life that is waiting*

Living eternity on Earth
-Showing people a glimpse of eternity
-Want to show full commitment to what you do and what you say
-That you understand that everything you say or do, or the decisions you will make will have an eternal impact

Hebrews 9:27

How can the Mexicali trip impact our spiritual growth?
-How would it make you feel to hear “If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be on this side of eternity”? 0.0… wow
-Its about communicating, preaching—that’s why Jesus was so passionate about life—he was “plugged”, that’s how he knew that he could save us if he died on the cross for us

Circle of Friends

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 00:33:00 -0500

Guilt is the result of something

Because of guilt, people can’t forgive other people

Saying you forgive but not forgetting isn’t forgiveness in God’s eyes—guilt will continue

Forgiveness is FREEDOM it frees us from ourselves and the people we forgive

Forgiveness should be given in the measure in which we have been forgiven—we have been forgiven for everything, all our sins

Sometimes we don’t know how to forgive, and even if we forgive, we can’t forget…. SO HARD

The act doesn’t even have to be an extremely big deal, it can be something ordinary, physical or non physical, etc.

How do we confront or deal with this?

Accumulated frustration can become an anger inside of us

By growing in Christ, doesn’t just mean all by the book stuff, it means translating all the things we’ve learned into our personal lives

First step is communication (with parents, friends etc.)

Time to open our mouths, but not show only with words but with actions

The reasons you give are what you’re choosing to do is impacting you, helping you; parents response will be different—give a little more space, more respect

When you make your reasons very personal and real, it will move them

A lot of misunderstanding may build up because people are driven by fear—causes pain and resentment

A lot of times they don’t realize that the fear that they have cripples relationships that could have been good relationships

It’s a long and painful process

Ask and pray to God for compassion and to see people through his eyes

Make it a goal that God will give wisdom and reach out with love

Make sure that God is in control of the situation and be the instrument

Ask the Holy Spirit if there is a gap between you and your parents, if forgiveness is a necessary step—sincerely being able to forgive

Forgiveness is a command from God—it is what we want to choose to do if he commands it from us—obeying the Lord

Joy is different from happiness

Not able to logically understand

Happiness is temporary

Rather than trying to get rid of the problem, more people go for the temporarily relief…

Joy comes within, it comes from God—nobody can steal it away

Society driven by three things—sex, status, speed

Where did the word sex come from? The Bible, not the Devil

Sex is a beautiful thing but the Devil has twisted it up and made it into pornography, etc.

Choosing joy over temporary happiness, choosing peace over cheap thrill, choosing God over little gods (money, fame, etc.)

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· When we start projecting our personal goals to the kingdom, you start to bear greater visions for your life

· Model excellence, model greatness, because that’s just God coming out of you

· Live our lives according to the purpose God has given to us

· Once we start to realize our purpose, our life becomes simplified

· We don’t have to do anything extra to please God, because when he sees you he’s already pleased—that you love him and that you want to go after him

· It’s not all the physical stuff you do

· A lot of us want to please God by doing more things—to get more blessings, to get more love—enemy uses this as our weakness, makes us feel guilty when we can’t do all the stuff we think we should do

· When we feel discouraged we may just go even more downhill and may eventually walk away from God

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Purpose and Destiny

Many people are just driven by the wind—by people, by society

When we know who we are, answers are right in front of you. That is why the greatest problem on Earth is the lack of identity

In the kingdom of God there is enough of everything

The wind we want to blow in our lives comes from the kingdom of God—means walking in the will of God, means knowing that purpose and destiny is found in the kingdom

The very reason that God provides leaders is for us—for us to start walking into purpose and destiny

God has given us leaders in his kingdom—this is his answer to us—leaders who know who they are and where they are going, know who God is, so in tune with God that they become one with the Spirit, leaders of exchange, those who understand righteousness and have revelation

The leaders can only teach us what they have

The wind in the kingdom of God is the safest place to be—will be messed up by the world

Leaders of exchange—Christ, when he died on the cross, he took away everything that was of the sinful nature. Many people still believe we are sinners, including leaders. Leaders of exchange are those who teach us righteousness, they teach us who we are, they teach the path to the cross and teach us how to deposit everything on Christ and to inherit the new nature. In God’s mind this is an event that already happened at the cross.

Everything starts changing when you realize who you are IN CHRIST—brief foundation

The questions “What did you do with what I gave you?” determines WHAT we’ll do in eternity

Day 7 of 21

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 13:15:35 -0500

Luke 8:28-56

The Healing of a Demon Possessed Man, A Dead Girl and a Sick Woman

The demon possessed man’s name was Legion.

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Genesis 13:1-18

Abram and Lot Separate, Abram Rescues Lot

[22 But Abram said to the king of Sodom, “I have raised my hand to the LORD, God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth, and have taken an oath 23 that I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the thong of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, ‘I made Abram rich.’ 24 I will accept nothing but what my men have eaten and the share that belongs to the men who went with me—to Aner, Eshcol and Mamre. Let them have their share.”]

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Psalm 7:1-17

Day 6 of 21

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 02:10:04 -0500

Luke 8:1-25

The Parable of a Sower, A Lamp on a Stand, Jesus’ Mother and Brothers, Jesus Calms the Storm

[11 ”This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. 12 Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13 Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14 The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15 But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.]
[16 ”No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. 17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. 18 Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him.”]
[25 ”Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”]——————————————————-
Genesis 12:1-20
The Call of Abram, Abram in Egypt——————————————————-
Psalm 6:1-10

Day 6 of 21

Fri, 28 Jan 2011 02:10:00 -0500

Luke 8:1-25

The Parable of a Sower, A Lamp on a Stand, Jesus’ Mother and Brothers, Jesus Calms the Storm

[16 ”No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. 17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. 18 Therefore consider carefully how you listen. Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what he thinks he has will be taken from him.”]

[25 ”Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him.”]
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Genesis 12:1-20
The Call of Abram, Abram in Egypt
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Psalm 6:1-10

Day 5 of 21

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 13:10:24 -0500

Luke 7:18-50

Jesus and John the Baptist, Jesus Anointed by a Sinful Woman

When John the Baptist sent his disciples to ask Jesus, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” Jesus cured many of many ranges of sickness and told them to report to John what they had seen. [28 I tell you, among those born of women there is no one greater than John; yet the one who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he.” 29 (All the people, even the tax collectors, when they heard Jesus’ words, acknowledged that God’s way was right, because they had been baptized by John.

30 But the Pharisees and experts in the law rejected God’s purpose for themselves, because they had not been baptized by John.)33 For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ 34 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and “sinners.” ‘ 35 But wisdom is proved right by all her children.”]

Jesus was invited to eat at the home of a Pharisee. When a woman who had been living a sinful life learned of this, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume. She wet Jesus’ feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. She poured the perfume on his feet. When the Pharisee saw this, he said “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—a sinner” Jesus told him (Simon) a story. [41 ”Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. 44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” 48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”]

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Genesis 11:1-32

The Tower of Babel, From Shem to Abram (mentions Terah, Abram and Lot)

[6 The LORD said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. 7 Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other. 8 So the LORD scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. 9 That is why it was called Babel—because there the LORD confused the language of the whole world. From there the LORD scattered them over the face of the whole earth.]

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Psalm 5:1-12

[8 Lead me, O LORD, in your righteousness because of my enemies— make straight your way before me.]

[11 But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you. 12 For surely, O LORD, you bless the righteous; you surround them with your favor as with a shield.]

Day 4 of 21

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 16:29:00 -0500

Luke 7:1-17

The Faith of the Centurion, Jesus Raises a Widow’s Son

The faith of the centurion is so great. When his treasured servant fell ill, he heard that Jesus was nearby and sent people to ask him to come and heal his servant.
[6 So Jesus went with them. He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: “Lord, don’t trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. 7 That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed.] He had no doubts that by Jesus’ words alone that his servant’s health would be restored. He’d most likely had only heard about Jesus’ miracles and probably hadn’t seen any. But his faith that Jesus was the Son of God and that if he willed it with his mouth, he could bring healing. This message spoke out to me the most because in this time, where people are all about scientific explanations, facts, and that “seeing is believing”, everyday we’re so challenged. I myself find myself challenged sometimes and at times I feel myself wanting evidence that God is there. So when I see the word FAITH throughout the Bible, it amazes me. Even though I have faith that my God is there and that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and that he is the only bridge between us and our Father in Heaven, I can’t claim that it’s unwavering. It’s like putting your faith in the impossible, because that’s what God does—impossible, incomprehensible things—or at least that’s how it appears to my worldly human mind who’s grown up learning that seeing is believing, despite growing in a Christian environment.

God, I pray for greater faith. An unwavering, unshakeable faith that will withstand the storms and beatings to pass (in a figurative sense). One that will stand straight and upright even if this world finds “evidence” that You don’t exist. One that will shut out those kind of things. One that will not stay strong only in the happy and easy times, but that when I’m placed in the middle of a stormy period in my life, that it will not waver and that I won’t question You, but a faith that will grow even stronger. Please keep this prayer in mind and in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.

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Genesis 8:1-22

After the flood receded… [20 Then Noah built an altar to the LORD and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it. 21 The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: “Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done. 22 ”As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.”]

God’s Promise to Us.

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Genesis 9:1-29

[2 The fear and dread of you will fall upon all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air, upon every creature that moves along the ground, and upon all the fish of the sea; they are given into your hands. 3 Everything that lives and moves will be food for you. Just as I gave you the green plants, I now give you everything.]

Q: Again, so does this mean that they only ate green plants before? Humans and animals alike?

[6 ”Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of God has God made man.]

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Genesis 10:1-32

[11 I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.” 12 And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. 16 Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” 17 So God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth.”]

Noah’s son Ham saw his father naked as he had fallen asleep drunk and told his brothers Shem and Japheth. But his brothers covered their father while looking away so they would not see his nakedness. [24 When Noah awoke from his wine and found out what his youngest son had done to him, 25 he said, “Cursed be Canaan! The lowest of slaves will he be to his brothers.” 26 He also said, “Blessed be the LORD, the God of Shem! May Canaan be the slave of Shem. 27 May God extend the territory of Japheth; may Japheth live in the tents of Shem, and may Canaan be his slave]

Q: Why was Noah so angry about being seen by his son? And instead of directly cursing his son, why did he curse his grandson? (Canaan=son of Ham)

I really get lost at the part of this chapter when they start talking about Noah’s sons’ bloodlne @_@

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Psalms 4:1-8

Stream in a Desert

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 15:54:39 -0500

When is the time to trust?
Is it when all is calm,
When waves the victor’s palm,
And life is one glad psalm
Of joy and praise?
Nay! but the time to trust
Is when the waves beat high,
When storm clouds fill the sky,
And prayer is one long cry,
O help and save!

When is the time to trust?
Is it when friends are true?
Is it when comforts woo,
And in all we say and do
We meet but praise?
Nay! but the time to trust
Is when we stand alone,
And summer birds have flown,
And every prop is gone,
All else but God.

What is the time to trust?
Is it some future day,
When you have tried your way,
And learned to trust and pray
By bitter woe?
Nay! but the time to trust
Is in this moment’s need,
Poor, broken, bruised reed!
Poor, troubled soul, make speed
To trust thy God.

What is the time to trust?
Is it when hopes beat high,
When sunshine gilds the sky,
And joy and ecstasy
Fill all the heart?
Nay! but the time to trust
Is when our joy is fled,
When sorrow bows the head,
And all is cold and dead,
All else but God.
—Selected

Day 3 of 21

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 13:47:00 -0500

Luke 6:24-49

Love for Others, Judging Others, A Tree and its Fruit, The Wise and Foolish Builders

God is making us aware of how we justify ourselves. What is the point of trying to differentiate ourselves from “sinners” when what we do, and what we think is good by loving those who love us already, is something that those we call “sinners” also do? He tells us to love our enemies and even if they mistreat us and curse us or harm us, that we should treat them well, show them love, and turn the other cheek. God says [36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.] Love today is such a big problem. I find it hard to show kindness to strangers, much less my enemies! I try catching myself when I think ill of others, but it happens so naturally that sometimes I overlook it. I try to tell myself “Love others as Jesus has shown love for me” but it’s so difficult. That’s why I’m that much more amazed by people who seem to show unconditional love and kindness for others. Like Sarah Oh at Bridge church. She’s always so bubbly, outgoing, kind, and is always trying hard to not make people feel like they’re being left out. When I see people like that, I feel God’s love pouring out and it makes me want to change. Judging others is also a tough issue for me - -… Since judging others doesn’t have to be outspoken or be done through action… it can be a quick thought or fleet of the mind!! I’ve also always wondered about how people thought of me and how they judged me, but this verse [37 ”Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.] spoke to me. How can I expect others to not judge me if I judge others? How can I expect kind words and acceptance from people when I don’t? As Jesus said, [41 ”Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.] Forgiveness is one of my deeper issues. I can always tell myself that I forgive this person or that person, but sometimes I feel resentment. He also talks about good trees and bad trees, and the fruit they bear. He compares the trees to people. [45 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.]

God I ask that you help me to keep myself in check throughout this day, and throughout this week, so that I may be able to establish a better character. One that I know you’d be proud of and one that I would be proud of myself of. Help me to keep my tongue in check and help me to overcome any ill thoughts of others. Allow me to become more loving to others, friends, strangers and enemies alike, and allow myself to crack my heart open so that I may better understand them. Also, before I become quick to criticize, let me be able to recognize my own faults so that I may humble myself before You and others. Let me become a good tree with a strong foundation so that I may be able to grow good fruit, and that by seeing my growth, that I stir something inside peoples’ hearts and just as when I see Sarah, that others will also desire or feel the need to change what is in their hearts and how they portray it. In Your son’s precious name, AMEN!
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Genesis 6:1-22

[5 The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. 6 The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.]

Q: What does it mean that “every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time”? Does it mean that God’s heart was having evil thoughts or that the thoughts of the evil hearts on earth were being “transferred” to his heart so that the evil he was feeling was the peoples’ evil? Because it says next that he grieved as his heart was filled with pain.. :[
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Genesis 7:1-24

[2 Take with you seven of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and two of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate,3 and also seven of every kind of bird, male and female, to keep their various…]

Q: This whole time i thought it was two of every animal… What it does it mean by clean and unclean?
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Psalm 3:1-8

A psalm of David. When he fled from his son Absalom.

[1 O LORD, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! 2 Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” “Selah” 3 But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. 4 To the LORD I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. “Selah” 5 I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. 6 I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side. 7 Arise, O LORD! Deliver me, O my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked. 8 From the LORD comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people. “Selah”]

Q: What is Selah?

A: Wikipedia [Selah notes a break in the song and as such is similar in purpose to Amen in that it stresses the importance of the preceding passage. Alternatively, Selah may mean “forever”, as it does in some places in the liturgy. Also “Selah” is the name of a city from the time of David and Solomon]

The beauty our Lord creates

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 01:29:00 -0500

The beauty our Lord creates

Day 2 of 21

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 01:23:00 -0500

Luke 6:1-26

(verses 1-11)
The Pharisees are trying to find problems and way to accuse Jesus. When Jesus and his disciples are going through the grainfield and some of his disciples pick the heads of the grain and eat them, the Pharisees accuse Jesus about how he and his disciples are being unlawful. On another Sabbath, there was a man with a shriveled hand and the Pharisees were watching Jesus to see if he would heal the man on Sabbath day. Jesus KNEW WHAT THEY WERE THINKING. and his asked the Pharisees:

9. Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?”

And then he restored the hand of the shriveled man.

God, your Son never ceases to amaze me. I believe that by continuing to read what he’s done on this earth while he walked on it and reading about his kind of mindset, the one that You desire us to learn from, I feel that I’ll be changed and instead of having to thin WWJD before making decisions, that, like Jin said, the thinking and action process will become a lot less effortless and hesitant.

The Twelve Apostles (verses 12-16)
13. When Morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twleve of them, whom he also designated apostles
(Simon-Peter, Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James, Simon-Zealot, Judas, Judas Iscariot—traitor)

Q: There were more disciples? It says that Jesus CHOSE twelve of them, whom he ALSO designated apostles. So who else were apostles?

Blessings and Woes (verses 17-26)

20 Looking at his disciples, he said: “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.21 Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.22 Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.23 ”Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets.24 ”But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.25 Woe to you who are well fed now, for you will go hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.26 Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.

How is he choosing to bless like this? Does he mean everyone in those two categories will end up that way? I understand that for the poor, it is much easier to give up all their riches and seek the Lord, and that the wealthy will vice grip their riches, but…?

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Genesis 3:1-24

8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.

How lucky!!! It says that God was WALKING in the garden, which means that Adam and Eve could see God FACE TO FACE!!!! I always pictured God as some voice in the sky, kind of like Lion King. But no, he actually walked around in the garden!

20 Adam named his wife Eve, because she would become the mother of all the living.

Eve wasn’t named until this point.. o.o

22 And the LORD God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”

Did Adam not eat from the tree before? Is it a tree where you have to eat the fruit multiple times or just once?

23 Lamech said to his wives, “Adah and Zillah, listen to me; wives of Lamech, hear my words. I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for injuring me.24 If Cain is avenged seven times, then Lamech seventy-seven times.”

Does that mean Lamech killed Cain?
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Genesis 5:1-32

21 When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father of Methuselah.22 And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters.23 Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years.24 Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away

Q: Does that mean Enoch just died? Or that he was no more BECAUSE God took him away? The others lived nearly 800-900 years but Enoch lived only until he was 365. Does his death and the amount of years he has lived have anything to do with the annual calendar?
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Psalm 2:1-12
6 ”I have installed my King on Zion, my holy hill.”
7 I will proclaim the decree of the LORD: He said to me, “You are my Son; today I have become your Father.8 Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession.9 You will rule them with an iron scepter; you will dash them to pieces like pottery.”10 Therefore, you kings, be wise; be warned, you rulers of the earth.11 Serve the LORD with fear and rejoice with trembling.12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him.
Q: If this passage is talking about Jesus, what is Zion? Why is it God’s holy hill?God, there are so many questions I want to ask!!!!!

Lord, I’m yet to be disciplined in my mind, and it is only day 2 of my habit building of having QT… God, Jesus, keep me strong in mind so that I may CONSISTENTLY continue this QT every morning for the rest of the year, but first for the 21 days. Lord, I just pray that you would send your glorious manifest presence in my room every single morning and stay with me as I read your word, and that you may alert me when I read certain passages that I should pay particular attention to. Let me carry your words like a survival guide/tool throughout my day that I may refer to your word when I am faced with situations I have no idea how to deal with, or to recognize how true your words ring true when I look at the things and the people on this earth. I continue to pray that you continue to help build my IDENTITY in you Lord!!! I don’t want to build myself on an unstable platform (this world), but rather I want to build myself on a strong solid rock, and not only mentally, but spiritually Lord I desire to build myself up with your help Lord!!!!!! Help me Lord, to meditate on your word. Send me even more mentors and authorities that I can trust to answer all the questions that I want answered Lord, because right now I’m still too immature in my spirit and mind to understand your words. Lord, I thank you and I love you and I continue to receive your blessings day by day. In Your son’s name I pray, Amen.